im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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