On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize