At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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