I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
