But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
