the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
