This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just had sex on a roof
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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