Small penises have feelings too.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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