Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
