Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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