is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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