**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
