They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
