Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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