NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
