after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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