Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
