if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
