i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
it glows. i had to have it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
