Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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