He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
