Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
