I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
