it wasn't lemon gatorade
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
