I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
