But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
