I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
