i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
honey bunches of taint.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
