I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I supernannyed him into submission
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
