Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
