The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
