talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
