sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
