So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
