It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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