this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
