Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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