I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
