Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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