Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
the liver wants what the liver wants
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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