i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
