you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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