Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am one with the molecules
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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