Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
