Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
