His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
