his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
