So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
