o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is wine microwaveable?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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