no, he came in my armpit
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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