sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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