Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
