Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My life is pants optional.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
