Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
